S/M is not repressed anger or covert hatred. Actually it isimpossible todo good S/M with someone you do not like.
S/M takes a lot of energy, preparation, time, and attention. Most practitioners do a lot more of “vanilla” (i.e. non S/M) sex than they do S/M.
S/M is as much an attitude as it is action. When traveling, the dominant may wish to drive the car in order to be in control and express their power; or the submissive may wish to drive the car as an expression of taking care of their dominant. Who’s in charge is far fiom obvious. It is a dance involving both parties.
S/M people come from all walks of life. Some come from abusive backgrounds and practicing S/M can be part of their healing. Some come from healthy families and are looking for self fulfillment. Some identify as “liters’,having S/M fantasies from their earliest memories. Still others are new tothe concept and felt a connection when they tried it. S/M people come fromall genders and oricntations. As a result, S/M groups have been on the forefront of establishing common ground between heterosexuals, gays, and lesbians.
S/M people are every where. There are national organizations, such as theNational Leather Association. There are local chapters of the NLA in many states. There are many independent local organizations supporting people in the S/M life-style. These local organizations have different charters and purposes. APEX is one such local organization whose charter includes individuals of all genders, gender orientations, and all associated fetishes. Every year some of these organizations put on local and national conferences and conventions. Some of these conventions may have only a hundred or so attendees. Others have thousands. Like any convention, there are meetings discussing a variety of topics, as well as a vendors’ exhibit area with the S/M life-style equipment and literature of the available for purchase. To attend one of these conventions is to truly know that we are not alone.
